Today is the day before the first paper of finals is given out and here i am, sitting in my chair, trying to think which girl should i go for. The 1st girl which i meet a couple of times, talked to her on the phone, sms with her but she says that she was just boring and wanted to chat, she doesn't only call me but also others which actually make me like what...a friend? or the 2nd one which i sit down in class 4 days a week trying to figure out what to talk to her about just to atleast hear her voice or if not that, just look at her and make sure she doesn't notice coz i'm a really shy person when i see a beautiful girl. Well, like what my friends used to say, "Richmond, you're not smiling at them or even look at them, are you afraid that they will devour you?". That's me and i'm not sure what to do about it, even with a few support i'm still floating on clouds and never down to earth...not sure what to do or say. My mind is working now and my heart feels uneasy, trying to figure out which girl should i go for and stop playing a fool by waiting for them to make the move like the old days. Maybe its not always good if a girl is the one who tell u that she likes u first, coz when it comes on situation like this, it doesn't bring any good. The 2nd girl is gonna be gone in a few more months and God knows where she's going after that, the 1st girl is unpredictable, she ask me question if i like her or not but treats me like a friend coz she tells me that she sms and call everyone in her contact list when she's boring, so i guess that makes me like her friends...so practically i'm lost in confusion,can any help me out? God?

girl of your dreams?

45% people in the world tend to get divorce once they realize that they just could not click towards the end of their life. Every love in first sight, opposite sex's beauty and popularity blinds us like flashbang that blinds us from seeing all the thing that we have caused and the changes in our self both physically and mentally.

These things tend to happen when you realize that some girls are better than her, maybe hotter or even more beautiful but it all depends on how loyal one is to another. Love is never the problem of divorce, its just the inner self that causes it. The quietness, jealousy, anger, hatred, misunderstanding, taking advantage, sorrow, pain and thoughts are the ones from the inner self who provokes distance between one another.

Always the friend and never the lover, always the shoulder to cry on but never a love, always words but never committed, always seen but never loved, always discussion about problem between u and the man but never a conversation, always together but never for life, always thinking but never reality, always feeling but never a sincere trust nor truth, always love but never true.

age?

Time passes before u can even realize it did, we tend to wait and be shy in something but we never take into consideration that things like those never come twice. we just let it go,wait or stare...WTF...now i'm trying to make a move,she's gone in a few months...didn't know that she was at the verge of leaving and might not be able to see her again.

Sometimes i just wish that i could turn back time and treat her well, talk to her even more, care for her and be the one that always thought about her when no one does. But apparently time doesn't repeat its self twice with the same date ( unless digital watch )...my shyness and negative thoughts have cause be to lose someone that i think i might have a chance to be with. We tend to do stupid stuff and joke around her to put a smile on her face ( not joker smile ) but sometime it is best not to try than to try our very best, that's when the real self present its feature.

There are some phrases in life where people say "There are words and information in life which are better off being unknown then known", things are meant to be secret like feelings, emotions, thoughts and gossips as these things tend to change as time passes. Those can be change when time passes us by.

Things don't always go our way in life, when we think about it, it sometimes never happens but if we never think about it, it just comes...life is very confusing when u think about it, maybe its better of being unknown and unexpected by waiting and let it come to you instead of u going after it ( only apply to certain condition like luck ).

Valentine's Day

Valentine's Day come and go right in front of me and i did not do a thing. Was it something normal for me that i do not seem to care? is it the same as time where i just let seconds,minutes,hours pass me by? It was lonely for me this year and the year before, don't know what to do? I was lazy to wish anyone, maybe because i was jealous that i was alone and they might be out with someone. Well, i went to mid-valley on Valentine's Day and as usual, you'll be able to see a bunch of couple walking around mid-valley, some even still have the new couple shine and sparkle all around them and some are still shinning with loyalty to each other after years. Just looking at them makes me wonder, does everyone in the world ever involve them self in a relationship? did God create a special soul mate for each and every of us? actually he does, but sometimes we make the worst decision that makes us blind to realize that the one was right there in front of us. We sometimes think that this girl/women/lady that we saw,that seems to have shot your heart with cupid' s arrow sometimes ends up to be "Hell's Arrow of Blindness", we tend to forget the importance of life, our target in life and the ones we're suppose to care and love. I am not sure where am i going here but i am typing out what ever i am feeling now...he he he. So to make things short (i think...), Valentine's Day is the one in a year day where you spend time with the one u love and care for,either friend or that special someone, treat them with the time u had as if it is going to be the last chance you are going to be with them because who knows, there might not be that time anymore for the next Valentine's Day. Even so it is the day after Valentine's Day and so on, they are still some one that deep down in your heart, you still care for so do the same u did for them on Valentine's Day for the days to come.

Being away from the ground of earth and flying in love

Why am i so dumb to ever think i'm going to be with u,that you're going to love me and even by my gf. Not a clue, not a sign, you are out of my life for now and so on. I was dumb and clueless, that age would not matter, to belive that a guy like me could get to know more about you, blind and hidden from the light that show a different path. Would not want to know, would not want to care, why my love for u was always there but never spoken...

Dam liars

Could i ever be bothered,
could i ever care,
the one who was cheating over here and there.

I know life is hard,
life is tough,
but u f**king kind of people,
is the cause of making life hard.

You never care,
you never love,
other people who cares about you,
but you aspect other people to do the same to you.

waste of my time,
waste of my life,
could have told me earlier,
so that i can make something better out of it.

People like me are being used

I hate people who only say that they are my friends when they know i'm useful to them, when they know they could get something out of me which can help them through their troubles, especially when they needed my advise. I hate those kind of people, they think that we were created by God to serve them, they think we dont have feelings to feel anything if we found out that they were using us, i'm being treated like junk by my friends now just on one mistake i did, they started to ignore me, treat me as if i was different from them and always think of the mistake i did eventhough they all know how sorry i felt for doing so, but one thing they'll never know about us is that we know what we did before was wrong and we'll never do it again because the impact on us by our mistake has taken a great damage in our life. If u people still dont understand the feeling of being in our shoe, u were never our friend at all, friends are suppose to help each other even through tough times, thats what we call friends that care, any people out there who think thier friend is like that, best u leave that friend of yours coz its useless having them around and they will use you as much as they can to have a great life on earth, they never know how it feels to be like us because they love taking advantage on the perfection God made them to be